Ask an Expert: Woman's Leadership Coach

As a woman's leadership coach, keynote speaker, podcast host, and mom, Rebecca shares guidance on many stages - all over the country. And, this week she's spilling her goodness here! We each asked Rebecca for advice on a challenge in our worlds as moms, small business owners, volunteers and leaders in our own rights.

From prioritizing goals to motivating teams, from setting boundaries to supporting choices and even finding our people and voices, Rebecca brings her Pleasantly Aggressive advice and simplifies some pretty big questions. Read on for dose of leadership coaching that may just address a question on your mind as well.

Ali, Book Aficionado from @The BookClubCart

Ali Asked:

I wasn’t quite sure what questions I would have, especially after being out of the professional workplace for the past 10 years while staying home with my kids, but I realized this is something that shows up in everyday life, not just in a career setting.

How do I set better boundaries (say no more) when I still want to be helpful?

Rebecca Answered:

The pull to be helpful - especially when it’s for friends, family, or our children - is strong. Whether it’s serving on the HOA Board or volunteering for Home & School, you see there is a need, and you know you can help. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Pausing to ask why you say yes is the best place to start. Do you feel like you're letting others down? Do you feel bad when there is a call for volunteers, and no one responds? These responses revolve around others' needs and ignore your own. The responsibility to protect your time is entirely yours.

Kim, Home Connoisseur from @Reverie.and.Root & Founder of Spilling Goodness

Kim Asked:

How do you prioritize ideas and turn them into a plan? With a new business, a lot of ideas and so many directions I could run in - it can feel like spinning. I'd love any tips for turning a mess of ideas into an actionable plan.

Rebecca Answered:

I think nearly every new business owner experiences this! I frequently see this with my coaching clients, too. So many great ideas, but not enough time. Begin with your goals - the big one. What are you trying to do? Who are you trying to serve? You'll find that some ideas are great, but don't align with your bigger goals. If you still find yourself with too many ideas, you have to simply pick one. Choose one that you can give your full effort to and see if it has legs. Set the others aside and revisit them if the first idea doesn't pan out.

Jen, Bespoke Travel Planner from @GlobalOnDemandTravel

Jen Asked:

How do I keep my team motivated?

Rebecca Answered:

Motivating others can be one of the most frustrating parts of leading a team. The book 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People by David Yaeger offers psychological research to help us better understand how to motivate others (not just young people).

Among the principles he shares is an idea also used in coaching - asking a version of the question, “What makes this challenging?” This question allows you to go from assuming you know what they need to letting them clearly define the problem. Together, you can brainstorm solutions - what tools or support they need - to get them motivated.

Ashley, Millennial Mom Nutrition Coach from @AshleyBreaksTheCycle

Ashley Asked:

Do you think there is such thing as being too polarizing? How do you weed out people in your life that don't align with your values without being obvious?

Rebecca Answered:

Whether you're seeking clients or friends, how you present yourself will both attract and repel people. The goal in life is not to collect all the people, it’s to find the ones who align with your values and your goals. When you express your thoughts or ideas, it might feel polarizing. However, knowing who you are and what you believe is something many people are afraid to do. Not everyone is your client, just like not everyone is your friend. If you're comfortable with this notion, then you'll show up as your most authentic self and express your thoughts and opinions without fear.

Emilee, Book Aficionado from @The BookClubCart

Emilee Explored and Asked: 

So I went to the internet initially to help me look up leadership questions to ask as a stay at home mom …and what did I find? All questions surrounding confidence as a homemaker, finding my identity, how to get back in the workplace, am I enough, how do I handle my emotions, comparing myself to other moms, etc. This makes me so sad that this is supposedly what I am assumed to feel.

Here is the thing; I don’t. I am a very confident stay at home mom and proud to be. But guess what - I am also a feminist and here for women empowerment. I get impassioned by the news daily. My family? They know this and they get me; I am a proud christian, wife, mom, homemaker AND a proud feminist. But the world around us? They don’t get this. They can’t rationalize this.

Not really a question, but more speaking to the unity and rationalization of merging differing beliefs to actually one in the same. How do we stop boxing women into these roles and understand we can be many parts and wear many hats and embrace our complex natures?

Rebecca Answered:

I love talking about how women can truly support each other and their individual choices. Judgment and comparison are not new to women, but social media can amplify them for so many women who are just looking for community. Supporting other women requires us to be comfortable and confident in our own skin - something a lot of women struggle to do. When you see other women living differently from yourself, it can evoke feelings of envy and judgment. In the words of Ted Lasso, “Be curious, not judgmental.” When you feel a judgmental thought coming up, choose curiosity instead. “I wonder why she chose that. I wonder what’s going on in her life.” When you show up curious, you set the example and encourage others to do the same.

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What would you ask a leadership coach?