How do you handle holiday gifts with extended family or friends?

Gift giving for the holidays can be a lot. When we factor in gifts for our kids and husbands and then on to our parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, close friends and so on, we've all worked out ways to keep the gifting meaningful - and manageable. From Secret Santas to White Elephants to picking a theme or a type of gift, there are so many ways to come together and exchange gifts and memories.

Read on to hear about handling gifts for 11 cousins, some fun gift theme ideas, favorite things exchanges ideas for friends and a few amazing experience ideas just waiting to be unwrapped.

Ashley, Millennial Mom Nutrition Coach from @AshleyBreaksTheCycle

Let’s be real—holiday gifting with extended family and friends can feel overwhelming! Some years I’m super organized, and other years I’m just trying to survive the giant list that already exists for my own kids and immediate family.

A few years ago, we made a decision that saved everyone a lot of stress: we stopped doing adult gifts for siblings and in-laws. Instead, we put our energy into something way more fun—a cousin Secret Santa! On my side of the family, there are 11 cousins ranging in age from 20 to 8, and every year they draw names. We exchange gifts at my mom’s house after decorating gingerbread houses, always on the last day of school when the kids have a half day. Watching the older kids shop for the younger ones (and vice versa) is hilarious and honestly one of my favorite traditions.

As for friends and the people who truly feel like our village, I keep it simple and meaningful. I bake. Cookies, lots of them. I love being in the kitchen during the holidays, and there’s no better way to say thank you than showing up with something homemade, warm from the oven, and made with love!

Emilee, Book Aficionado from @The BookClubCart

To be clear; gifting, whether it’s receiving or giving, is NOT my love language. Additionally, I get overwhelmed with all the extra STUFF Christmas gifting brings into my house. So with that said, I try to make things as easy and minimal as possible. If we don’t spend the holidays together, it doesn’t make sense to exchange gifts.

With my family, we do our Christmas celebration over New Years and we do exchange gifts. Thankfully, my sister also likes to keep gifting to a minimum so we have been doing kid magazine subscriptions (i.e. Sports Illustrated-kids, National Geographic-kids, Highlights) for a couple years and that has been great!

Teacher gifting is always a must and I love making my kids write Christmas cards to them. Their messages are always so sweet. Of course there are coaches, dance instructors, crossing guard, house cleaner - we do our best to remember everyone! And ALWAYS gift cards because its something everyone can use and easy to pick up!

My kids love the gift donations they pick from the tree at church. This year my ‘Moms in Faith’ group is putting gift bags together to donate. This same group does a favorite things party (which I love!), but last year we moved it to Valentine’s Day and that was so nice to have that to look forward to in a month that isn’t so busy.

Ali, Book Aficionado from @The BookClubCart

In our extended family, the kids get most of the spotlight—cousins exchange gifts, and their excitement is always the best part of the day. For the adults, we keep things light by drawing one name from a hat and choosing a small gift just for that person. Because we live far from family, the grown-ups make it extra fun by focusing on laughs rather than big presents. It’s a simple tradition that keeps the kids happy, the adults smiling, and reminds us that the holidays are about joy, connection, and a little bit of playful surprise.

Kim, Home Connoisseur from @Reverie.and.Root & Founder of Spilling Goodness

Exchanging holiday gifts with friends is one of my favorite parts of the season! With two groups of friends, we exchange our favorite things - not only is it fun to prepare my favorite thing to give and its lovely to receive someone else's favorite - I also love learning about everyone's favorites as they are exchanged.

With one group of friends, we each bring 3 of our favorite thing. Then we draw 3 names from a hat and those are the three people we give to. Never fail, I come home with three of the coolest things that I had never thought of! With another group of friends, we each bring a favorite and exchnage in white elephant fashion - with each gift eligable for 3 steals. This always leads to a lot of laughs and learning about so many fun ideas.

While we are exhchanging things, we're mostly exchanging ideas - and these ideas from fellow moms are gold. Whether it is a trick they've learned to be more comfortable on a sideline (hello hand warmers!), a weekly habit they have developed that makes them feel great (I see you - yoga class), or a must-read new book, the exchange of favorites turns into eye opening new ideas.

Jen, Bespoke Travel Designer from @GlobalonDemandTravel

As our family grows, we’ve realized that the most meaningful gifts aren’t things—they’re the memories we make together. We still do presents for the kids, but for the adults we’ve shifted our focus to shared experiences and quality time. Instead of exchanging items we don’t really need, we choose activities that bring us closer and give us stories to relive for years. Even our White Elephant tradition is less about gifts and more about laughter, connection, and enjoying each other’s company.

For my parents, we’ve started gifting experiences that we can all enjoy as a family. When we head to Greece in a few weeks, we’ve booked a cooking class for all of us to do together—something hands-on, fun, and unforgettable. And for the holidays, I’m surprising my dad with a suite at Hotel Tovar at the Grand Canyon, complete with an expansive patio overlooking the rim. It’s the kind of gift that offers time, beauty, and memories—things that last far longer than anything we could wrap.

Rebecca, Woman's Leadership Coach from @PleasantlyAggressive

We work hard to be equitable with all our gift giving, but my husband’s family and mine have two different systems so we work separately. Both our families are small, so it’s not too much to organize. My family usually draws names for the adults, and we pick a theme: books, games, clothing - to keep it easy and fun. Then, everyone buys gifts for the kids (grandkids, nieces, nephews). My husband's family, everyone buys gifts for each other. We usually ask for ideas or lists, but when in doubt, gift cards are acceptable!

The hardest are always the older members of the family. It's usually a struggle because they don’t need much, and you don’t want to clutter up the home with things they don’t need. Gift cards to their favorite restaurant seem to work well, and we’ll usually add in a calendar with all the kids' photos.

Our families are always grateful and its true that its the thought that counts!

Pin this post for later:

How do you handle holiday gifts with extended family or friends?