How do your kids help at home?

3 hours ago
5 min read

Boy mowing a sunny backyard lawn with a Honda mower near a wooden playset, trees, and a house with string lights.

Asking and expecting our kids to help around the house can take many forms. While kids contributions are actually helpful, they are also learning along the way - not only how to do the task, but why it matters, how they make an impact and how they are a part of something bigger (in this case a lovely family!). Whether that means consistent expectations, an organized chore chart (or not!), any allowance or occasional paid opportunities, the challenge of reminding vs. letting chores happen on our kids timelines and how chores evolve as our kids grow in age and ability - 5 moms share our takes. As Ali explains, "More than anything, it has helped us cover the basics of keeping our household running while teaching our kids responsibility, accountability, and the importance of everyone doing their part."

Kim, Interior Designer from @Reverie.and.Root & Founder of Spilling Goodness

Orange cat wearing a purple headband лежs in a laundry basket of clothes inside a washer/dryer, with warning labels visible.

Chores are something that I used to have a tighter grip on. Now, my kids help out and have their repeating tasks, but it is more fluid. I've tried a little bit of everything - chore charts, the skylight chore lists, allowance, points - think pre-school teacher with less creativity and follow through. I kept trying, but it still felt like a lot of nagging. So, here is where we are now:

Laundry: Middle school starts the beginning of tag teaming laundry. By 8th grade, laundry falls squarely in their bucket (or basket). I will jump in from time to time when sports and schedules get nuts.
Pets: My daughter handles feeding the cats and my youngest manages his chinchilla. I'm a big fan of learning responsibility through pets. They do the nagging for me! They also manage pet care when we travel - coordinating friends to help out.
Daily summer help: One kiddo blows off the patio, another waters the flowers - usually.
Trash: One kiddos collects inside, one takes the cans to the curb.
Beds: We ask our kids to make their beds every day. There is just something about starting the day with a made bed.
Awareness: This is one that makes a huge difference and is the hardest to delegate. But, I ask them to be aware of each other and our home. If there are dishes sitting to be dried, dry them. If I get home with a trunk full of groceries, help bring them in. If you spot cat barf (ick), clean it up. If the recycling is full, take it out. When I catch them doing any of these things, I always thank them. And, I hope these are the things that make them more helpful humans in the real world.

Jen, Bespoke Travel Planner from @GlobalOnDemandTravel

Open dishwasher loaded with white plates, bowls, and utensils in a modern kitchen.

During COVID, we did a great job of Saturday morning clean-ups. We played music throughout the house and each kid choose 2 items to focus on (one bathroom and then one other). There was zero fuss about it. And then, sports picked back up, schedules got crazy, and I no longer have the energy to orchestrate these same Saturday mornings.

So, we are back to the basics- clean up your room, load and unload the dishes, walk the dog and help take out the trash. There are no money exchanges, just expectations, and I think I could set mine a bit higher.

Rebecca, Woman's Leadership Coach from @PleasantlyAggressive

Teenagers! There's nothing they’re not capable of doing in terms of chores. Getting them to complete their chores on my timeline will always be a little bit of a struggle. Honestly, my kids are pretty good with just a few reminders.

Boy pushes a lawn mower across a green suburban front yard on a sunny day, with brick houses and trees behind.

Here is what they’re responsible for:

Unloading and loading the dishwasher (two kids means one gets odd days, one gets even days)
Their own laundry (weekly)
Emptying garbages (weekly)
Taking garbage and recycling to the curb (weekly)
Snow shoveling (paid gig)
Lawn mowing (paid gig)

Of course, there are always “other duties” as assigned, but these are the expected chores on a regular basis. Since my oldest can drive, when he isn’t working, he is asked to run errands, fill up the cars with gas, take his brother places, and pick up dinner (saving lots in DoorDash fees). In return, I’ll give him gas money, which seems like a fair trade.

The hardest part for me is not intervening. Since I work from home, it's easy to just do the dishes or fold the laundry instead of waiting for them. I’m working on that!

Ashley, Millennial Mom Nutrition Coach from @AshleyBreaksTheCycle

Boy in a white Huskies jersey tends a black bin of plants in a lush backyard garden seen through a window.

I’ll be honest, I have tried the chore chart thing. Stars on the fridge, check marks, prizes at the end of the week, sleepovers as rewards. When my kids were little it felt like the right move. And it also felt like a part-time job managing it. So that faded out pretty quickly.

Now that they’re 9, 11, and 13, we’ve landed on more of a clean-up-as-you-go approach. Pick up your trash in the TV room. Hang up your wet bathing suit. Put your towel in the laundry room instead of on the floor. Clothes go in the basket, not in a pile next to it. The older two will make their beds sometimes on their own, not always, but it happens. Trash day means someone’s helping with the barrels.

Is it a perfect system? No. Could I probably be doing more in this department? Also yes. But here’s the thing, staying on top of a formal chore chart with three kids at three different ages felt like more work for me than just doing it myself. And I am always, always trying to make my own life easier.

Ali, Book Aficionado from @The BookClubCart

Man crouches beside a child in a neon safety vest by a Poulan Pro leaf blower in a backyard beside a house and fence.

We have a motto in our house that everyone has to help for our family to have success; meaning, for our family to function at its best, everyone has to do their part. We have a chore chart organized by daily and weekly chores, along with a few chores that are specific to each child based on their age and abilities.

We give our kids a weekly allowance, but there’s a little accountability built into it. If we have to constantly remind them to complete their chores, they lose some of their allowance. They also have the opportunity to earn extra money for bigger, additional chores.

It definitely isn’t a perfect system, but it has worked well for our family. More than anything, it has helped us cover the basics of keeping our household running while teaching our kids responsibility, accountability, and the importance of everyone doing their part.

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How do your kids help at home?